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CRISTINA BARBA TIENE MAC 

SOY FELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZ

Pero no se me conecta a internet. Y eso me hace infeliz. Pero se arreglará. Espero.

xxC

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MERRY CHRISTMAS! 

I guess there is hope

I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.

-Jonathan Safran Foer 

New Year

It's going to be a new year. Pretty soon.  In like, a week. It's outstanding what's happened in merely a year. I've become an adult, at least to the government. I've left behind school and begun my journey to the future I have to build for myself.

Suddenly, it's not about the things around me or how I did on my History essay. Something in my mind has switched off so many things that preoccupied me before. I feel like I'm a different person, more sensitive to things I didn't notice before, more aware of myself, how I feel and how I act. I am no longer a shell of myself. On the contrary, I'm too much of myself to contain, I am the chaos I've always been but out of control and happy and sad and excited and scared and... everything. This new year is going to be a step forward from this sort of existentialist epiphany I've had, a sort of clearer path. Work is hard at uni, so, so hard. It takes up my brain and my soul aches wanting to do everything as is expected. But I'm going to use this time to excel at only one thing: truly finding myself amidst all the talent and inspiration I am surrounded by every day in class, when I walk out the front door, in my room... I feel like this year will be great, there's nothing more to it; I can't do anything to stop it. I've changed. And it's glorious.

xxC

First Outfit of the Day!

Por fin voy a poner mi look del día, porque afortunadamente esta mañana me he levantado con ganas y tiempo, así que he decidido hacerme una foto de cómo pensaba ir hoy a la universidad. Este es mi look!:

Últimamente me gusta mucho la idea de abrocharse las camisas hasta el último boton del cuello, queda muy... monja? No sé, yo no soy fan de los escotes para mí, porque me incomodan, así que es perfecto que esté totalmente cubierta jaja.

Llevo: Falda de H&M de hace 2 años, Camisa vintage, Cárdigan antiguo de mi madre, y Collar de H&M. Espero que os guste! ^^

On another note, ayer tuve que hacer el segundo trabajo para clase de 'El Perfume', basándome en otro personaje (cómo el vídeo), e hice un cuadro, este es el resultado.

Decidme qué os parece! 

xxC

The Virgin Suicides

We knew that the girls were our twins, that we all existed in space like animals with identical skins, and they they knew everything about us though we couldn’t fathom them at all. We knew, finally, that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love and even death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them. - From “The Virgin Suicides” by Jeffrey Eugenides 

For Christmas I want the book "The Virgin Suicides" by Jeffrey Eugenides, and the movie of it. I've seen the movie and it's one of my favourite movies of all time. I love it. You should see it, too.

El Perfume

Ésta es Marina Maravilla (http://modadescomprimida.blogspot.com/), el día del rodaje, de camino a mi casa. Iba ideal, con sus botas Dominatrix de piel súper bonitas, el pañuelo de su madre que nunca se quita y que es ideal, y un vestido de lana genial. Como siempre, Marina va perfectamente color-coded, no como la servidora. 

Ya que soy impaciente no, lo siguiente, voy a publicar el corto que hice con Marina aquí. Estoy casi segura que la mayoría de los que me visitáis me seguís en twitter y ya lo abréis visto o habéis podido verlo, pero os lo enseño otra vez. Mi obra maestra. Mil gracias a Marina por su impecable actuación, que llevó mi idea a la realidad. Estoy muy orgullosa de todo. ^^

Decidme qué os parece. 

xxC

So, today, it's like this.

When your vision has been realised in something you love, a part of you stays with it, and, no matter what, you will always love it because you're there: it's a reflection of who you are. That is why I want to create. I want to design fashion so I can create things people can buy every day and wear and have a part of me with them, I want them to feel what I feel when I create, as an every-day, not exceptional way.

It's beautiful to dream and to have expectations and plans. Sometimes they go your way, and sometimes they don't. They usually don't, for me. Today I made a short movie/videoclip with one of my best friends and it came out perfect, exactly how I wanted it to. Today I put my mind and soul into something and it worked to my benefit.

Today, I also realised what it's like to feel betrayed or disenchanted with friendship. I lose friends like paper clips, and I don't know how, or why. It's difficult to make bonds, for me, when I know I have the utmost ability to push someone away without knowing, and, in the end, it's detrimental to me above all, because I stand, confused, in utter disbelief and completely flustered and ashamed of what it is I could have done (or not done) for this to happen. When I try to explain myself, be forward, and explain my feelings as they are (usually quite deep and dramatic, as am I), it comes off as arrogant: Why do I think the other person felt as deeply for me as I did for them? My reaction is astronomical compared to what they feel. I am always the more involved sentimentally, I always have more to lose, because, and I admit, I am always more dependant.

And so it turns out I'm a pretentious fuck for thinking I was important enough to be liked by as many people as I love. Really fucking pretentious.

Lista de la compra

Ahora mismo tengo un outfit en mente, y es éste, el cual he creado por Looklet (http://gb.looklet.com/user/227062/looks):

Es un poco deco grunge, que ya sabéis que me encanta. Adoro esos zapatos. Por supuesto, son de Burberry Prorsum. He intentado buscar una alternativa más barata, pero nothing, ninguna es lo mismo.

He estado stalking Zara hoy, porque dentro de poco iré de compras, y ya que llevo meses sin mirar nada en las tiendas porque no podía permitirme gastarme nada, hoy lo he hecho vía internet para ver qué me espera... En fin, esto es lo poco que me ha gustado de Zara, pero, para qué mentir, me defraudan muchísimo.

Por dios, mirad la perfección de estos zapatos! Quizás acabe comprándomelos porque me encantan, aunque cuestan 60€ y me parece astronómico considerando que seguro que son de bastante mala calidad. Aunque no lo parece. Los necesito.

Luego, esta falda me encantó. 30€ no me parece excesivo para Zara tampoco, la verdad. Si por mi fuera llevaría la versión extralarga, que es preciosa y la lleva una chica de mi clase que viste maravillosamente. Pero no tengo su tipín, así que creo que esta falda favorece más al tener un poco más de vuelo. 

Muy 20s, me encantan los turbantes y en NY casi me compro uno en Urban Outfitters que costaba 35$ y este cuesta 16€... Quizás acabe comprándomelo, según cómo me quede, porque es el complemento perfecto de fiesta, sobre todo en estas fiestas!

Y os dejo una noticia de una colección que me hace mucha ilusión, aún no habiendo visto las películas ni leído los libros: la diseñadora de vestuario de las películas de Millenium va ha lanzar una colección inspirada en la protagonista el 14 de diciembre, para H&M. No sé por qué me emociona tanto, porque últimamente el cuero y tanto negro no me atraía, pero me gustan algunas cosas y no es nada caro (sobre todo después del HORROR de Versace x H&M). Estas son mis cosas preferidas y que seguro que me compre:

Son cosas como muy grunge, muy a los colores que tenía en mente en mi outfit de Looklet. Espero que os guste, me hace muchísima ilusión!

Precios: Top: 7,95€ Leggings: 19,95€ Cárdigan: 29,95€ Camiseta: 14,95€

Mwah xxC

Today I'm

Today I'm sad. But it's okay, because at least I'm not nervous, stressed, guilty, or self-conscious. I just have a sadness in me that is calming. And that is perfectly fine.

Florence Welch Appreciation Post

Florence Welch is my goddess. Had I any sort of concrete and specific set of beliefs or an icon to worship I would base it on Florence. She is a wonderful creature and is one of my biggest inspirations in all aspects of my life.

Her music is enthralling and I feel identified with it; its magical essence and its profoundness found amidst the foggy, somewhat surrealistic lyrics seem to somehow seep into my soul, very deep. Florence herself is a sort of... how to put it... muse to me, I suppose you could say? She holds this significant place in my heart because what she represents: originality, uniqueness, genuineness and overall a sort of love for life is extremely influential and inspiring to me.

She holds a special and haunting beauty, it's mysterious, and though many people I know would describe her as unattractive, I find her to be of incredible beauty. Through her lyrics you realise she has a sensibility for the world around her, which she transforms into this magical fantastic alternative universe, something I'd love to be able to do and am achieving slowly, to take what you don't like from what surrounds you and create something extraordinary with it. I don't exaggerate, despite my tendency to do so, when I quite strongly state music is one of the most powerful forces which affect me personally every day, and Florence's music and way of seeing life has made me change my perspective on many things.

My last two posts have been dedicated to music, but it's true that, in a way, it's saved me and helped me become the person I am today. I can proudly say for once I have one aspect of my identity figured out, and that is the way music makes me feel. Or at least certain types of music.

This is my favorite song by Florence + The Machine

La super amo. (Spanglish Foreverr)

xxC

Beirut

I don't know how many of you know of the band called Beirut. I discovered it listening to a song covered by Florence + the Machine called 'Postcards from Italy', which I found enthralling and absolutely beautiful, so I had to listen to the original version, and then to all the songs ever written by Beirut, which is a precious bunch.

There's something you should know about me. My taste in music has varied over the years for different reasons, letting these be fashion trends, what my friends listened to, my relatively "emo" phase (in which I mainly listened to My Chemical Romance, band with which I've built a strong bond after those months), my Beatles phase, my heavy metal phase (which lasted a week) and a long etcetera. But, ever since I came back to Spain and started a completely new life to the one I'd had back where I lived, things changed, I changed and, in turn, so did my music taste, or at least the way I look (or listen ^^) to music.

From finding Regina Spektor, my obsessions in the past three years go through Phoenix, Muse, Arctic Monkeys, The Kooks, Arcade Fire, Belle and Sebastian, Death Cab for Cutie, Foo Fighters... Only recently have I found a perfect balance and my real taste in music, and it's rather unique, I think. I look for in music what I look for in life, any sound or lyric that makes me feel deep inside it's the music for me. I'm very much like that, especially recently- I won't do something my ... intuition, let's call it, "tells" me or makes me feel like it's what I should do. So, the bands which have achieved this in a way that is almost unthinkable are Florence + the Machine, as my friends all know, Beirut, the band which I would want to have as the soundtrack to my dreams,  Bon Iver, which is... just... amazing, Mumford & Sons and Radiohead. There are more, but these affect me most of all. I think there's a pattern , I like bands which are based on folky, indie sounds (like ukeleles and so on ^^), that are very centred on the voice, and less on making complicated background music, and if they have a tinge of magical flow (like Florence), I'm in love.

Just wanted to share a little bit of my mind to you, because music is such a huge part of my life, and a huge source of inspiration for art.

This is a wonderful song on a take-away show of Beirut's singing one of my favourite songs of theirs (and in general), 'The Penalty'. Oh and I'm in love with the singer. In LOVE.

What's your favourite song? (:

xxC

Today.

Today the day was beautiful. I love it when it's cloudy and grey but with sunshine. I'm not one to appreciate the sun usually because I get red too quickly and flushed and it hurts my eyes. 

But today, or almost every day last week, when through the clouds peeped a few rays of sun that shot into people's eyes, it made them glisten wonderfully. Really, have you ever seen the way people's eyes look when the sun light is aiming right at them? Even the most average-looking (in my opinion, no eyes are average-looking, to say the truth), the eyes with the least interesting colour, become the most amazing, magical well of shimmering liquid. It's absolutely precious.

Anyway, that's all I've to say about today, went to Uni for an hour and a half's worth of class, thought about how wonderful it would be if the world would stay still for more time at dawn and twilight, and took this photo of my favourite time of day, when the clouds turn pinky red.

What were your reflections of today? What's your favourite time of day? Tell me.

Also! My favorite video lately, of my favourite band as of late and one of the most beautiful songs ever to be written, 'For Emma' by Bon Iver

xx C

Perfumed

La semana que viene voy a hacer una mini-película con Marina (del blog http://modadescomprimida.blogspot.com/) como protagonista. Tengo que hacer un trabajo para clase, y crear un "objeto" a partir de una sensación que nos produce uno de los personajes del libro 'El Perfume'. No os quiero contar más, cuando entregue el trabajo lo subiré y os lo enseñaré, así como el feedback que recibí, porque, si no le gusta a mi profesora, siempre puedo cambiarlo. El caso es que me he estado comiendo la cabeza sobre qué hacer en este vídeo, qué ropa va a ponerse Ari y como se tiene que mover. Por lo que he decidido scour the internet endlessly para encontrar mis cosas favoritas: imágenes inspiradoras y que definan lo que sentí hacia el personaje elegido para llegar a cierta conclusión artística e idea para el objeto final. 

Estas imágenes definen esta idea, creo yo.

Y, finalmente, el vídeo de Rabbit Heart de mi amada Florence, que tiene la estética perfecta que quiero.

xx C

Blindsided

It's difficult, amidst all the chaos that sometimes surrounds one's life, to put things in perspective and order your thoughts accordingly. I am a mess. I swear to the Gods that my bipolarity is real, but mostly because I always have hope the world loves me and it lets me down, time and time again. In truth, I let down myself. I am afraid I am mediocre at almost everything. I used to stand out in the crowd because the crowd I was surrounded by was different to me. I've always been different. And now, I feel like I am just like everyone else, except stuck in the black hole in which I live, where I get mentally blocked when I feel stress creeping into my body, where I feel insane because I cannot believe I am so forgetful.

I lose everything. You know that phrase "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"? Well, apart from missing my Blackberry, iPod, my other iPod, phone, wallet, concert ticket etc, I do miss my mind the most. When did I become so fucking depressive and happy at the same time? I'm a different person when the day starts than when it ends. I end my day terrified of what is going to happen inside of me tomorrow, when will I feel happy, when will I have to pretend I'm happy, and when will I won't be able to do anything but wallow in my unhappiness?

I am the biggest drama queen there exists. I make a world out of nothing. But that is exactly my problem. I am so exaggerated when something goes wrong the cracked pillars upon which my mind is assented break into a thousand pieces. My whole life deserves Bon Iver in the background, for good an for bad. My life is as melancholic and cloudy and as light-hearted and free as any song of theirs. I am both at peace and in the eye of the storm. Peace is my favourite word, one I cannot live without because it holds such deep, profound meaning for me that the mere thought of the word and what it conveys in my heart makes me feel better. I wish I was always at peace, alas, unfortunately, I am the perfect (or imperfect?) balance between chaos and the feeling of floating in the air in the middle of the night listening to the silence.

If I do put it in perspective, I love being both floating and swimming in the air of the fantasy world I create for myself and at chaos and constant fight with everything I do. But I give so much of myself to something it kills me when it doesn't come out how I wanted. Or that I stress and push myself so much I go beyond my limit and fall off a cliff and land face down. I wish I could find the real perfect balance. I don't ask to always be happy, but I really don't want to feel this way any more.

Any of you who read this will probably think I am the most melodramatic person you've seen. And I am, but I feel that with a reason. I don't know, I'm trying to live with the fact that every lovely moment is fleeting, and, essentially, fleeing away from me, as I do not know how to enjoy them to their fullest.

x